Generosity Of Spirit

How often do we do something, say something, share something–not because we will get something in return, but just because we want to give a gift? If there is one trait we value in other people, it’s generosity of spirit. These are the forgiving types. They really truly listen to you, even when you’re telling the same story again. These people emanate kindness. You just want to be around them.

I’ve known a couple people like this. Their goodness just came from some authentic place from within. They have a certain decency. One of these people died this last year from cancer. I didn’t write about him. I just couldn’t. I’ve been too ticked off about it. He was one of the good ones. Sweet-natured, loving and giving. Everyone loved and admired him. I’ve come to believe that the old idea that only the good die young may well be right. (In that case, I can expect to live for a very long time.)

I guess I bring up the whole “generosity of the spirit” thing because it is particularly important during times of economic difficulty to find that generous place–for ourselves. When we live miserly, withholding, stingy lives, we tend to draw that sort of energy into our lives, too. It isn’t about money, either. It is possible to have this spirit with lots of money–Old Ebeneezer Scrooge, right? And it is possible to be generous, charitable, with next to nothing.

It’s something that I’d like more of in myself. I would like to be more genuine and possess the expansive kindness that makes other people feel good about themselves. Too many people and experiences are just difficult and mean, I don’t want to contribute to that world and make another person’s day diminished by my own smallness.

So, in honor of Mark, rather than focus on his passing, I want to focus on what he brought to this world and emulate it. There are too few people like Mark. Maybe he was innately good. I don’t know. But I suspect he had to work to be loving and kind and make choices to be generous like everyone else does. I think he made those choices so often, it became a habit, a way of life, his character. He touched many lives with his generosity of spirit and is proof that good guys do win.

Posted in Isms, Mind | 2 Comments »

Autism Twitter Day

It’s today.

More here and here and here.

Posted in Isms, Mind | 2 Comments »

Inspiration In Two Minutes

Via Instapundit

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Orgasms During Childbirth–UPDATED

I guess it’s going to be all sex all the time today at the blog. Oh hell, why not? The Blago scandal is boringly devoid of sex.

Back in the 70s when flower children everywhere were making sweaty, hot, hallucinogenic, pill-protected, STD-infested monkey love, a strange thing happened: babies. I know, it was a shocking side-effect to all the lovin’, man, and some of the parents kicked their wanton daughters out to suffer the indignities of being a single, pregnant, shunned lady. Enter Stephen and Ina May Gaskin who took in these women at a place called The Farm in Tennessee. I actually dig these two hippies. They revolutionized prenatal care and were forward thinking about unnecessary medical procedures like episiotomy, shaving, knocking the mom out during birth, etc.

The Gaskins also introduced the notion of an orgasmic birth.

I’ve read Ina May Gaskin’s books and seen the pictures. She was a revolutionary, forward-thinking woman who cared for many, many women. Her work transformed lives for the better. Now, there is a “new” childbirth movement centered on “orgasmic birth“:

First thing next month (Friday January 2) will be the primetime debut of a film that has been making the “under the radar” rounds of women and film festivals since May. ABC’s 20/20 will air the documentary “Orgasmic Birth”, by Debra Pascali-Bonaro, a childbirth educator and a doula, which asks the question: What would happen if women were taught to enjoy birth rather than endure it?

The message of the film is “that women can journey through labor and birth in all different ways. And there are a lot more options out there, to make this a positive and pleasurable experience,” Pascali-Bonaro tells ABC. “I hope women watching and men watching don’t feel that what we’re saying is every woman should have an orgasmic birth.”

But the title certainly catches attention, referring to what Pascali-Bonaro calls “the best kept secret” of child birth – that some women report having an orgasm as the baby exits the birth canal.

Right.

Having given birth rather easily, sans medication and more than once, the notion that women can experience sexual bliss during birth seems absurd. I’ve seen the videos and I’m not hating on any woman’s experience, but please. All sorts of changes need to happen in prenatal and birthing care, but the wild assertions and expectations of orgasms will defeat the true aims of the natural birth activists by making them look like wild-eyed nutters.

And another thing, I recognize that the birth canal has multifaceted uses, still, I can’t help but to think that this orgasm business is just one more way to sexualize, well, everything. The birthing isn’t about having a healthy baby or a woman surrendering to the primal forces of motherhood. Oh no! It’s selfish and all about a peak experience, man. It’s the narcissism-part of the hippie thing that bugs me.

Motherhood isn’t entirely about self-sacrifice, but giving birth is pretty darn self-sacrificial. Your body isn’t your own. And out of the experience comes an entirely new creature. And yes, some women have babies to be the center of attention and make it all about themselves. They are annoying. They don’t need encouragement. This orgasm business will just add fuel to the self-obsessed culture. It will also delude women into thinking that it’s a likely outcome. Silly-headed women who believe this will often end up with C-sections because they have such inane expectations of birth. It’s called labor for a reason. Birthing is hard work.

One of the most barbaric medical fields in America is obstetrics. For reasons of liability, ignorance and tradition, a process that has existed since the beginning of time is made into a “procedure”. Birthing is a process for woman and child and with different treatment, women would be empowered by motherhood rather than being the recipient of medicine. Babies aren’t a disease to be cured. Right now, that’s often how pregnancy and birthing are treated. That needs to change.

UPDATED:

Fausta adds this:

Certainly, childbirth is the most binding experience a couple can possibly experience. A considerate and supportive husband can and will do a lot of things to ease the wife’s discomfort during labor. In a sense, it is a spiritual experience, too. But take my word for it, having a fully formed, seven and a half pound, twenty-two inch human being squeeze out of a narrow opening doesn’t happen without pain. That’s just the way it is.

Posted in Body, Mind | 8 Comments »

Revenge Of The Nerds?

So nerds suffer in the short term:

Researchers in Australia surveyed 185 men and women, ages 16 to 25, at the University of Sydney on their sexual history and STD knowledge. Responses to questionnaires revealed that “art students were younger [and] more likely to be sexually active” than science students (who, presumably were too busy doing homework to get out and get busy).

And on average across groups, males were less likely to have had sex than females.

As for the reasons behind the disparity between art chicks and science geeks, lead author Bernadette Zakher, of the university’s Department of General Practice, reserved comment, saying that the survey did not delve deeply into demographics or sexual history, “There isn’t enough information for conjecture.”

Nature podcast editor Adam Rutherford has a few ideas. “I just hate it when stereotypes are right,” he posted on the UK’s Guardian website. “The research does not go into the potential causes of this lack of bedroom activity by my boffin brethren, nor does it detail the worthy sacrifice of cheap carnal thrills for rational agility and mental development, which I have convinced myself lies at the root of this problem. That, and the personal hygiene issues.”

I’m guessing, though, that they win in the long-term. They’ll have fewer STD’s, attract smart women (also likely nerds and virginal), make more money, and live longer (smarter people have longer lifespans).

Hang on, nerds, there’s hope!

H/T Ann Althouse

Cross-posted at RightWingNews

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Aspberger Criminals

Does it matter why a crime is committed? I mean, if the victim is dead or the merchandise is stolen, does it matter?

The law allows for things like falling asleep at the wheel. Clearly a sleeping person did not intend to murder with his car and yet the pedestrian is dead. Or the old person who, in confusion, pushes the gas instead of the brake when mowing down a group of people, like happened in New York.

So, what to do about a man with Aspberger’s who hacks into United States government computers because of his claimed obsession with UFOs. Here’s what happened says the Guardian:

McKinnon – who used the online name Solo – is accused of hacking into computers belonging to the Pentagon, Nasa and US armed forces in raids conducted between 2001 and 2002.

Prosecutors say he shut down thousands of machines and caused up to $700,000 worth of damage, while the 42-year-old claims he was searching for evidence of UFOs.

Since the incidence of Aspbergers is climbing, the problem of very smart, socially retarded people doing illegal activities for idealistic or obsessive reasons will increase. These same people would be abused mercilessly in prison as they have no social coping skills.

Additionally, once one person gets off because of a diagnosis such as this, all manner of criminal will attempt a similar defense. The fact is that many criminals suffer from diagnosable mental and biological illnesses that interfere with their cognition. Most, though, couple their poor decision making with wrathful violent action. This is almost never true in the case of people with Aspbergers, who are overwhelmingly introverted and passive, except on rare occasions.

I would like to see the government and businesses harness the natural gifts Asperger’s people possess. If the U.S. government were smart, they would hire this guy and put him to work looking for UFOs in the security agencies of China and Russia.

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Teacher Who Voted Aspberger’s Kid Out Of Class Suspended

Here’s a follow-up on the lame-brained teacher who had her five year old students vote their Aspberger’s peer out of the class:

A Port St. Lucie school teacher has been suspended without pay after she allowed her kindergarten students to vote a 5-year-old student out of class.

It took only a few minutes for the St. Lucie County school board to decide the fate of Wendy Portillo.

“My recommendation is a year without pay,” Superintendent Michael Lannon said.

School board members voted unanimously Tuesday on Lannon’s recommendation. Portillo was suspended from the school district effective immediately.

Here’s the thing: A woman this stupid will be this stupid again. Would any parent want her teaching his child?

Cross-posted at RightWingNews.com

Posted in America, Mind | 2 Comments »

If I Were A Boy: A Feminist’s Lament

Have you heard this song, yet? It’s sung by Beyoncé and called “If I Were A Boy”. It’s really a feminist’s lament. [Pretty pictures of the singer in the video--her official video couldn't be embedded.]

Here are some of the lyrics:
If I were a boy
I could turn off my phone
Tell evveryone it’s broken
So they’d think that I was sleepin’ alone
I’d put myself first
And make the rules as I go
Cause I know that she’d be faithful
Waitin’ for me to come home (to come home)

The balled itself is beautiful. It’s the guts of the song that’s troublesome. Essentially, this song is an ode to victimhood. The actual video has a woman doing what men ostensibly do. She’s turning the tables.

The point of the video is this: If a man were more like a woman, men wouldn’t be so bad. It is condescending, dismissive tripe that also happens to be wrong.

Women won’t find their power by denigrating men. No one is powerful when they are blaming someone else. They sound weak. It’s about taking responsibility for self and for actions, that a person, male or female, becomes empowered. Waiting for someone else to do the right thing or hoping someone will save you, is a sure way to stay passive and oppressed.

Cross-posted at RightWingNews and The Houston Chronicle

Posted in Corrupted Culture, Isms, Mind | 4 Comments »

Lileks: The Limits Of Pessimism & Righties Wearing Tinfoil Hats

One of my negative traits is my optimism in the face of overwhelming negative evidence. Misplaced optimism can be called delusion. Pessimism, though, is too often conflated with realism. In my view, both pessimism and realism are overrated. Who wants to be right about the worst all the time? It just sucks the joy out of every day living. Plus, pessimists can be wrong and that’s when opportunities are lost. Self-fulfilling prophecy and all that.

There is a downside to optimism and it’s faithful twin idealism: disappointment. And it’s true. I have been disappointed more than my fair share of times. Still, it’s a worthwhile trade. For while I have moments of profound disappointment, it’s better than a lifetime of misery convinced of the worst.

James Lileks says:

I still get impatient with people who insist that it can’t be. Pessimists can be such bores, and it’s lazy to believe the worst. What’s the line about Scaramouche: he was born with the gift of laughter and the sense that the world was mad. I don’t think that’s the best modus vivendi, but it beats teaching yourself the curse of scowling and the sense that it’s all a grind to be endured until the tomb gapes wide, and the only respectable intellectual pose is a Menckenian disdain for those who refuse to see how shallow, small, vacuous and contemptible they are.

I blame the boomers, of course. If you’re going to make a fetish out of the Authentic Values of Adolescence, with its withering critiques of humanity, then you’re going to value the slouch and the sneer as signs of a Deep and Serious Person. The Boomers were handed a Utopian ideal – practical, technocratic, rational, with silver wheels in the sky tended over by engineers and scientists - and they abandoned it for a Dionysian version based on wrecking and remaking the world they’d inherited. Their patron saint: Holy St. Caulfield, who identified the greatest sin in the human soul: being a phoney. Better to be an authentic bastard than someone who cannot successfully convince a teenager that some ideas have an importance that transcend the ability of the individual to manifest them 24/7.

Of course they got sour; if you believe a Utopia is possible if we just retinker human behavior to eliminate greed and dress codes and football and anything else that reminds us of Dad, be it the specific one or the unseen National Dad that rules the boardrooms and bedrooms and cloakrooms of DC, then the failure of this world makes it a dystopia, the worst of all possible worlds.

Some suggest that the great disenchantment began with the assassination of JFK, and I see the point. But it’s strange that it led to a loss of faith in us, given who shot the President. (Yes, I’m one of those lone-gunman wackos. I’m a freethinker! I refuse to accept concensus!) If Oswald had been a card-carrying Kluxer or a dead-ender Bircher or some sort of far-right-wing nutcase, I wonder if we would have accepted the Warren Commission and moved along. But no, he was a Communist. Well obviously there has to be more to it, then. Same with Sirhan Sirhan: his motivation will forever be a mystery, won’t it?

Once you start to believe in the dark shadowy forces, you’re done with the world. You’re done engaging it, you’re done enjoying it. There’s no point. It’s a sham, a shell, a shiny façade erected by the Jews / Bilderburgers / Trilateral Commission/ Council on Foreign Relations / Project for a New American Century / Masons / Knights Templar / Illuminati / Federal Reserve / Rockefeller-Royal Family Nexus / Bush Crime Syndicate / League of Grim Intent, and all you can do is post on the internet and call talk radio to argue with the hosts who think we’re free people.

It’s nice to see hope abroad in the land again, but I wonder who will be to blame when human nature asserts itself and the manna shipments fall behind. Someone has to be blamed, after all. It’s not the task that’s a fool’s errand. It’s the fools who refuse to believe in the task.

One of the reasons the Left has never appealed to me and even more so since the advent of the likes of MoveOn and the Kos Kids is the unrelenting, irrational pessimism. The premise of their rantings is that America is hell-bound, like now. Americans are evil or duped or stupid–they must be, how else do you explain eight years of Bush? Or, worse, the elections were stolen by some secret society controlling everything.

Oy vey.

This thinking leads to the apathy and nihilistic impulse: why try? Why bother? It doesn’t matter anyway. Where are the secular humanists belief in humans? Well, when humans don’t follow the correct humanistic ideology, the worst happens: Armageddon or whatever humanists believe the End of Times to be.

It’s easy to get lost in that messy soup of narcissistic oblivion. Yes, it’s narcissistic. It’s narcissistic to hold this mentality: if only “they” saw the world MY way, the world would be fine.

Watching it happen on the Left has been at times horrifying and amusing. Their nutterism has led them down the rocky road to Crazytown and it ain’t pretty. I’m not interested in those on my side of the aisle taking a turn toward Crazytown themselves. Nor am I interested in hearing hopeless, helpless talk.

America might be headed for some tough economic times, but it ain’t the Depression yet. America might have some differences in opinion, but we’re not nearly the divided entity that the eye-scratching Congress would have us believe.

And the Republicans might lose this election but it ain’t over ’til it’s over. There are limits to pessimism. One is living like it’s over before it’s over.

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Thought of the Day

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