Reparations: The Dick Cheney & Tiger Woods Problem

June 19, 2009 / 10:12 am • By Dr. Melissa Clouthier

The Senate’s conclusion about slavery? We’re sorry, but you’re not getting money. Still, there are those who want to quantify it:

Charles Ogletree, the Harvard law professor who has championed restitution, was consulted on the Senate’s resolution and supports it, but he said it is not a substitute for reparations. “That battle will be prolonged,” he said.

Randall Robinson, author of “The Debt: What America Owes to Blacks,” said he sees the Senate’s apology as a “confession” that should lead to a next step of reparations. “Much is owed, and it is very quantifiable,” he said. “It is owed as one would owe for any labor that one has not paid for, and until steps are taken in that direction we haven’t accomplished anything.”

Cohen said he and Harkin worked closely with the NAACP and other civil rights groups on language that would not endorse or preclude any future claims to reparations. “It will not harm reparations but won’t give any standing to it,” Cohen said.

Can you imagine a bigger mess than trying to make reparations happen? For many, electing President Obama meant that, finally, once and for all the past racial problems are a distant memory. We are now a colorblind society. As. If. But whatever, I do believe that many Obama voters hoped that his presidency would create a post-racial America.

Too many people benefit by keeping race front and center, though. So I expect this kind of talk to increase.

The main problem with reparations is that America is a big melting pot. People who look white have more black DNA, however that’s measured, than some people who look black but have more white DNA. Is Dick Cheney more black than Barack Obama? Do we need to know this?

We don’t need to know, although, it would be fun to find out. Part of me perversely wants this pursued. Wouldn’t it be great to have all these white-looking people getting huge payouts because they’re “more black” than, say, Oprah? Good times.

  1. 7 Responses to “Reparations: The Dick Cheney & Tiger Woods Problem”

  2. fuster
    June 19 2009 / 11:29 am
    Reply

    All in all, if we judge “blackness” by looking at souls, Cheney is a sure winner for most money. The question would be whether to send it to him, or to the owner of his soul.

  3. Glynn W.
    June 19 2009 / 5:45 pm
    Reply

    Hilarious.

    The very same week we learn how the GOP likens Michelle Obama to a gorilla, and another GOP staffer is reprimanded for sending her racist Obama jokes to the “wrong list” (the non-GOP list), we also get this weird apology for slavery.

    And now this attempt to twist America’s longstanding “one drop rule.” Golly. Perhaps we could all agree: The more some things change – the more they stay the same . . .

  4. RightKlik
    June 19 2009 / 7:41 pm
    Reply

    Probability that Cheney descended from American slaves: very small.
    Probability that Obama descended from American slaves: even smaller.

  5. left coast rebel
    June 19 2009 / 9:55 pm
    Reply

    Hi, just found your site from Twitter and am following, I like what I see here. Could you follow me too?

  6. Rick
    June 20 2009 / 4:33 pm
    Reply

    I would agree with reparations as long as it applies to everyone who is descended from a slave. For example, my ancestors, the Angles and Saxons, were enslaved by the Romans. So in my case we’re talking millennia that have transpired during which my people have suffered from the effects of slavery. That’s a shit-load of suffering. My payout should be huge!

  7. Philo
    July 8 2009 / 12:20 pm
    Reply

    Randall Robinson asserts:

    “It is owed as one would owe for any labor that one has not paid for….

    OK. When I read that, the thing that came immediately to mind was this: Has he paid for the privilege of living in this great country? Have I? Has my life contributed to the establishment and building of this nation, or am I primarily the beneficiary of the labor, sacrifice, and death of all those who actually fought for, founded, and built it? The answer is obvious. I wasn’t here then. And those who were are long gone.

    We are here, now. The notion of reparations is ludicrous. We are all presently benefitting from the labor of the slaves and free men, women, and children (you didn’t forget about child labor did you?) alike just by virtue of living in the United States. So doesn’t that mean we all owe?

    I’d like to know where the funding for reparations is supposed to come from. The taxpayer? If that’s the case, descendants of slaves would be paying themself, assuming they pay taxes that is. If that’s unacceptable, then should it come from the descendants of slave owners? I doubt there would be enough revenue to go around. At any rate, it’s absurd, and more than that, impossible to feasibly implement. Nobody is owed anything. Get on with living in the now, or go somewhere else with the stupidity.

  8. Rignerd
    July 15 2009 / 12:20 pm
    Reply

    The answer is simple.

    All persons who were held in slavery in the USA should be allowed to claim a share of the assets of any person who owned them. That share would be a portion equal to the number of slaves divided into the amount of increase during their bondage. Since all slave holders and slaves are now dead to point is moot. Does a person whose grandfather labored without pay deserve anything more than a person whose grandfather served in the military? I don’t think so. Does anybody deserve to be punished for the sins of their ancestors, or to benefit from the sins committed against their ancestors? Not in any system that claims to have an interest in justice. Once you begin to punish the son for the sins of the father you are subverting justice and serving retribution, even if you dress it up with compassionate words like reparations.

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