We’re All Mothers Now

June 15, 2009 / 10:00 am • By Dr. Melissa Clouthier

A man works from sun up to sun down. A mother’s work is never done. — Unknown

A friend of mine likes to quote that saying when she wants to provoke her husband. Works every time. The saying came to mind again when I read an article about the necessity of smart phones–to stay connected and working. From the New York Times’s Steve Lohr a week ago:

Such a digital connection can have its downside. The perils of obsessive smartphone use have been well documented, including distracted driving and the stress of multitasking. CrackBerry, a term coined years ago, is telling.

The smartphone, said Mr. Meyer, a cognitive psychologist, can be seen as a digital “Skinner box,” a reference to the experiments of the behavioral psychologist B. F. Skinner in which rats were conditioned to press a lever repeatedly to get food pellets.

With the smartphone, he said, the stimuli are information feeds. “It can be powerfully reinforcing behavior,” he said. “But the key is to make sure this technology helps you carry out the tasks of daily life instead of interfering with them. It’s about balance and managing things.”

James Joyner muses:

The social — and, increasingly, professional — expectation of being constantly available, however, is much more bane than boon. I’m generally more than happy to take a couple minutes out of my evening or weekend to help someone out with a quick question so they can continue progress on whatever they’re doing without waiting until 9 am the next workday. But, for many people, it has become more than that: a culture where one is never truly off work. While I have no idea what to do about it, that’s not a positive development.

Eh, I don’t know why these people are complaining. Moms are never off the clock. And there’s always a kid interrupting, bugging, and harrying the mother during her tasks. I’ve breastfed. The smart phone has got nothing on a 3 month old.

With smart phones, we’re all mothers now.

Via @Armano

  1. 5 Responses to “We’re All Mothers Now”

  2. Mat
    June 15 2009 / 11:30 am
    Reply

    Melissa,

    We’re not all mothers now. I rarely use my tracfone for precisely the reasons mentioned in the article. The use of cellphones, indeed with motherhood, is a matter of choice. Besides, that “we’re all mothers now” comment gives me the creeps. It sounds an awful lot like Hillary’s “it takes a village” nonsense (which it doesn’t; it takes two responsible parents, which seem to be in short supply these days).

  3. Dr. Melissa Clouthier
    June 15 2009 / 12:34 pm
    Reply

    Mat,

    Fret not! I’m being silly. Of course, we’re not all mothers now. If it sounds like pap, it’s ‘cuz it is.

    Melissa

  4. J David
    June 17 2009 / 10:21 am
    Reply

    Another one of my “101 Reasons I’m Not Married (Yet)” is the never-ending self-pity and martyrdom of mothers – who couldn’t wait to become such – and now find their martyrdom useful, with lots of popular support. Having the daytime soap serial interrupted by a crying baby is not the definition of “hardship”…

  5. J David
    June 17 2009 / 10:27 am
    Reply

    …and mothers who choose to be busy, “choose” being the operative word, with a quintillion other things besides motherhood, so they’ll feel “fulfilled” then whine about it incessantly, and hammer their husbands for not enabling the behavior more vigorously when they get home from working all day, are just practicing another form of voluntary self-martyrdom and deserve only contempt, not pity or sympathy.

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