Flowers For Men–UPDATED
March 19, 2009 / 10:59 am • By Dr. Melissa ClouthierI have sent men flowers and received [faked?] gratitude every time. Men, would you like to receive flowers? Caveat: They are manly, not frilly, not girlie, not feminine flowers.
UPDATE: The Enlightened Redneck has some thoughts.
21 Responses to “Flowers For Men–UPDATED”
March 19 2009 / 11:45 am
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Yeah, I’m going to have to go with a big fat NO on this one. Sorry, but this kinda goes with the whole “feminization of men” thing that bothers me. What I do find disturbing is that 22% on the poll (at least at this point) think that it’s ok for men to get flowers. What’s next, purses? Oh yeah, there are already manpurses out there…never mind…super…
March 19 2009 / 12:11 pm
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Short answer: No. I do not want flowers as a gift. ever.
Flour baked into something like cookies is OK. Flowers: No.
March 19 2009 / 1:12 pm
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What is MOST important to point out here, Mat, is that it doesn’t MATTER what you think, it only matters what SHE thinks. And, further, it matters what she thinks you are thinking about what she thinks. Women WANT to be lied to, in fact they are going to be most attracted to the really skillful liars, because “they really care enough” craft a “sensitive”(dishonest) answer to the questions like, “Am I too fat?”, “Did you like the flowers?”, “Would you marry again if I died?”, and all of the other rot-gut trap-questions that then give her the right to build up moral outrage and excuse forever-after her insane bitchiness. Men are ALL bad, and women are ALL put-upon.
March 19 2009 / 1:13 pm
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I’ll take their flowers. I like them, and I don’t see anything un-masculine about it.
March 19 2009 / 1:19 pm
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J David,
If I knew that you thought flowers sucked, I wouldn’t send them. If, however, you seemed like a guy who would like the whole world to know that you’re hot and I dig you, I’d send you flowers–manly looking ones. Nothing frilly.
To me, it’s not a decent gift if the recipient doesn’t want it. So, I’ve duly noted that the majority of men don’t like flowers. Dinner, movie tickets, etc. is more desired. Good to know.
March 19 2009 / 1:22 pm
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“Manly flowers”, heh, I just read that one. I am now wondering exactly what a “manly flower” would be, as opposed to, maybe, a “man-desired ‘flower’”?
March 19 2009 / 1:24 pm
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“I am now wondering exactly what a “manly flower””
Scotch thistle?
Personally, I love yellow roses.
March 19 2009 / 1:48 pm
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Masculine flowers: Birds of Paradise, Venus Fly Traps, Roses with no frills…
March 19 2009 / 1:52 pm
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If a women wants me, blunt and un-nuanced man that I am, to realize she is attracted to me, she won’t ask what I do for a living(typically as a first question), will look me straight in the eyes when we speak(or even/esp. haven’t spoken yet), will not find excuses not to go out on a first date just to be coy and see if I will ask again(which I won’t), and beg on bended knee for the incredible privilege of escorting her highness, and etc.
If a woman really digs me she isn’t going start right out(or ever, for that matter) trying to embarrass me, or give me gifts that SHE would want to get (immediately projecting her own view/desires on a male, while doing exactly what women complain their husbands do to them when they get them washing machines for a birthday or anniversary). I want the gift of cooperation and optimism and good cheer, not interrogation, word puzzles and mindreading.
I LIKE flowers, and grow them and pick them for my own self. I used to work in a flowershop, put together bouquets, like to garden, and etc., but even aside from the projection taking place in such a gift and the money spent on something that can’t be eaten, worn, traded, and is symbolic of womenhood, the man is going to be judged on how he takes it, what he gives in return(including the color/type/condition of the flowers themselves, which also mean things), and a hundred other unfathomable-to-the-male-mind miniscule nuances of every word/gesture/gift.
Women have gone from being happy when husbands show them empathy or sympathy, to demanding that men accept blame automatically for first being men, and expected to constantly pay them bribes, like push-presents, as a type of tribute for the privilege of continued association/peace with them.
I am not saying that that is what Melissa is doing or intending. I am giving my perspective, based on experience, of what I see women doing to manhood, many without realizing they are even doing it. Flowers are feminine, and traditionally flowers are synonymous with womanhood. Many guys are just going to overlook it the first time, if they are polite, when given such a thing, but it will be much harder, as time goes on in the relationship, IF it does, to ignore the money spent on them, and the expectation of return gifts(which is my biggest problem with gift-giving to begin with).
Because I am an “in-then-thi-tive” brute male, I really don’t care if then-thi-tive males, or “strong women’ disapprove of my decidedly non-PC, non-sensitive attitude, since such concerns have brought both manliness and femininity to their downfalls.
March 19 2009 / 3:41 pm
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Anthony,
You’re from LA, why am I not surprised?…
March 19 2009 / 4:22 pm
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No on the flowers. Real men like getting flowers as much as they like weary those pointy-toed shoes you rightly ridiculed last year — which is to say we don’t like them at all.
That said, my wife sent me a plant when I was promoted into my first editing job to decorate my new quasi-office. All green, no colorful flowers. I appreciated that celebratory gift and kept the plant on my desk until I finally managed to kill it for lack of watering.
March 19 2009 / 6:34 pm
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Short answer: No. Not even. Ever.
Long answer: A plant to decorate an office (as Mr. Glover mentions)is not the gift of a flower, it’s an object given in recognition/celebration that you have a new office, and something could stand to go in it. That object just also happens to be a plant. Many men like and appreciate flowers, as -flowers- in nature. But not as gifts. The poll could be taken one of two ways: Could you handle being given flowers our would you completely freak out? The 25 or so percent that said flowers were cool probably meant they could graciously accept them. But I’ll bet nearly none of them actually -want- flowers as a gift. The 75% or so who said it was not cool to receive flowers took the poll to mean preference wise. So those men would also graciously accept the flowers, but are taking the opportunity of this poll to say ‘please please please don’t ever actually send the flowers.’
So put out two polls: Would you WANT flowers as a gift? (predicted results: 5%yes, 95% NO (Sweet Mother of GOD NO!))
Would you be GRACIOUS if given flowers? (95%yes, 5%no).
March 19 2009 / 9:19 pm
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Oh, J David,
I don’t think it’s the feminization of men. Unless you’re buying him a purse and nail polish, too. Man.
Like I said, if a guy doesn’t want them, and it’s clear from this response, I got lucky with the reactions based on the odds, I will get them power tools and bullets for their elephant guns instead.
March 19 2009 / 11:52 pm
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It would never even occur to me to send flowers to a man, unless perhaps he was hospitalized.
March 20 2009 / 8:18 am
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C’mon, now…you know what we really want…
March 20 2009 / 11:47 am
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J David,
Dude, does your therapist know you hate women so much? You are one BITTER MF’er. Yeah, I don’t want flowers either, but sweet Jesus, your anti-women rant smells like serial killer in the making, my man.
Mat,
Yes, we’re all metrosexual girly men here in CA, so if I were you I’d stay away. Really. There’s too many people here anyway…
March 20 2009 / 12:37 pm
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Mr Chuckles, typical Californication “then-thi-tiff” girly man vilifying actual masculinity snorting at girly gifts. Yeah, We get it Chuck, you’re then-thi-tiff!
I wouldn’t expect a woman to see the giving of flowers to men as likely to be unappreciated gift. She is a woman – COMPLETE OPPOSITE OF A MALE. Sorta the point of the whole feminism-has-taken-us-off-the-rails meme, I would think.
It seems to me that what we have seen from this discussion, where no mens’ relationships were endangered by how they responded to a woman ’s question about a chick gift is that flowers are NOT appreciated, for a variety of pretty common sense reasons…and that even women sensitive to male issues can be led by culture and natural projection to innocently give gifts considered inappropriate by the recipients, who are then, out of politeness(and craven fear of insulting the women) are very likely not going to inform them of their error, which is an accurate reflection of what is going on in the culture at large.
You wanna get laid? You wanna get married? You wanna live with some semblance of peace while you are doing so? Accept the Liberation Movement and all of its resultant nuances and consequences, including giving up various aspects of pretty universally regarded ways of manhood, or you are going to go without.
Chuckles is “enlightened” ’cause he can fake it, for whatever reasons, so he’s gonna get him some… Those who are not willing to put up the necessary front, or aren’t a bit iffy to begin with, are going go without, or are VERY lucky bucking serious odds.
March 20 2009 / 1:46 pm
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J David,
Wow. You need to relax – waaaayyyy too consumed with telling all of us what is “masculine” and “feminine”. Got something you need to confess? Methinks thou doth protest too much. Was dad a little hard on ya? It’s OK bro – we all think you’re a buff manly dude. Mat thinks so too.
FYI – Wife gave me flowers once. Once. Sorry, no I did not bend over and say “Gee, honey, these are great!” Never got them again. Never gave her a vacuum cleaner either…
March 20 2009 / 10:25 pm
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This reminds me–
One of my favorite books when I was a teenager was Fifteen, by Beverly Cleary. In it, the fifteen-year-old female protagonist is buying a flower arrangement for her boyfriend, who has appendicitis. She buys a garish arrangement of flame-colored gladioli and delphiniums, then discovers the florist won’t deliver it. She hoofs it over to the hospital, only to find that BF has been sent home. Off she goes with the flowers, only to run into a number of her classmates on the street. . .
March 21 2009 / 5:40 pm
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http://www.livescience.com/culture/090320/-hn-gratitude.html