Sexually Ambiguous Ground Acquisition Sports
December 12, 2008 / 8:21 am • By Dr. Melissa ClouthierAgent Bedhead notes something about football, that I’ve always felt about any sport where men wear a unitard (wrestling, cycling, and now, even swimming):
Football is a sport for men only, preferably of the muscle-bound variety, who wear tight spandex pants and play with an awkwardly-shaped ball. The object of the game is to score, whatever the hell that means, and one of best ways to score is by making passes. With positions called tight end and wide receiver; and team names such as Packers, Rams, Giants, Cowboys, Raiders, and Oilers, we simply cannot continue to overlook the gayness of this beloved American sport.
Oh, and one cannot possibly forget the almighty Saints, a moniker whose concept didn’t succeed at keeping the gays out of Catholicism either. The ruse is most definitely over, boys.
She has pictures that provide more than ample proof, because pictures don’t lie. Just ask the Reuters stringers from Lebanon and Iraq. It’s the truth, man.
Enjoy your games, guys!
One Response to “Sexually Ambiguous Ground Acquisition Sports”
December 12 2008 / 12:55 pm
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Oh, that’s terrible. But it’s really, really funny!
Don’t forget the position of the quarterback right before the snap! Heh.